Ashkon mein, sapno mein,
Manzil mein, rishton mein,
Arth ko talaasha kiye hum.
Sachchai mein, achchayi mein,
Masoomiyat mein, wafai mein,
Khushi ko talaasha kiye hum.
Dard mein, judai mein,
Khud mein, khudai mein,
Pyaar ko talaasha kiye hum.
Yeh talaash kuch is kadar zindagi ban gayi,
Ki aaj zindagi ki talaash mein nikle hain hum.
Raah mein kaanten bichh bhi jaayen toh kya?
Paaon agar chhil bhi jaayen toh kya?
Saanse abtak chal rahi hai magar,
Dhadkan aaj ruk bhi jaaye toh kya?
Kuch is kadar dum bharen aaj,
Ki dum bhi agar nikal jaaye toh kya?
Jiya bahut hai tukdon mein aajtak,
Aaj zindagi ko paakar mar bhi jaayen toh kya?
13 comments:
Ek umda prayas..nishchit hi yeh aapki abtak ki sarvottam hindi kriti hai..aapki kuchh poorv likhit kratiyaam bhi padhi maine aaj...
Kintu main ek alochak hoon..kriti ki alochana toh muhje karni hi hai..sakaratmak alochana kar chuka hoon ab 2 rinatmak alochanayein...sarvpratham...pankityon ke pratham chhand mein "manzil" ke sthan par "manzilon" shabd ka payog tatpashchaat... nimnlikhit panktiyon mein tukbandi ki kami mahsoos hoti hai...
"Yeh talaash kuch is kadar zindagi ban gayi,
Ki aaj zindagi ko talaashne nikle hain hum."
Is chhand ki dwitiya pankti kuchh is tarah likhi jaye toh tukbandi poori hoti prateet hoti hai..
"Yeh talaash kuch is kadar zindagi ban gayi,
Ki aaj zindagi ki talaash mein nikle hain hum."
Yeh parivartan isliye aawashyak hai kyunki is chhand ka "saar" "talaash" shabd mein hai..
Ant mein main ek baar phir se kahoonga ki yeh ek bahut hi umda prayas tha..aur bhavishya kritiyaan nischit hi behtar hongi..
Rohit Ji... aapko mera shashtang pranam. Hame atyand prasannta hui yeh jaankar ki aapko hamari yeh kriti pasand aayi. Jahan tak Manzil ki baat hai... hamara yeh vishwaas hai ki insaan ki zindagi mein manzil ek hi hoti hai... Isliye manzil shabd adhik prabhavshali hoga. Parantu aapke doosre sujhaav se hum sehmat hain tatha uspar avashya amal karenge.
Bahut bahut dhanyawad ki aapne hamare is prayatn ki prashansa aur haunslaafzai ki. Aap yun hi apne sujhaav hame dete rahen...
Aakhiri sher ne sab ko peeche chhod diya. Waah waah!
Ji liye hain bahut, tukdon mein abtalak
Aaj zindagi ko paakar mar bhi jaayein toh kya?
I've always loved to read Hindi poetry and I've loved those short stories by the great Munshi Premchand. Ironically though, I've never managed to gather courage to go out and read Hindi novels though I know there's a whole treasure of them out there. For the time being (and ever since I started reading novels in 5th standard), I'm preoccupied with English classics. There is so much good stuff in this world to do and read and experience, yet so little time.
Thanks for visiting my blog and giving me an honourable place in your blogroll.
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
@Aakash: Shukriya... aapki zehnawazi ki aap hamare blog par padhare. Kabhi hum apne blog ko, kabhi aapke comment ko dekhte hain :-)
@Guns: Thanks for visiting. Yes there is a whole lot of great literature in Hindi... But just like you, I have never attempted my hands at it apart from what was prescribed in the curriculum in school.
Infact I never wrote anything in Hindi till I recently started this blog. When I write in Hindi, it gets so dramatic, that it drifts away from life, true emotions and feelings. But now I do write occasionally in Hindi to add the drama to life ;-)
I have a friend who routinely used to mouth filmi dialogues and inane stuff for kicks like "tum sab mile hue ho", "iska anjaam bahut bura hogaa" etc. on the football field. I prepared a nickname for him Mughal-E-Azam which was later shortened to 'Muglu'.
LOL, sensible Hindi is so beautiful though. Sadly in today's age, is considered un-cool to speak 'shuddha Hindi' but I love conversing with people who have a strong command over our national language and when I speak Hindi, I try to make sure I dont speak with any accents. Ditto with English, Marathi, Gujrati, Konkani etc. (I've forgotten how to speak Gujju now but when I did speak Gujju many years ago, no one could point me out as a non-local there). These are the 4 and a half languages that I speak. My mom speaks 6 (better Gujju + Kannada).
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
@Guns: Wow! you can speak so many languages... kya baat hai. Even I can speak Tamil, Punjabi and Malayalam besides Hindi and English. Had to learn to read and write them in school. But it was good fun.
Yes I agree talking in Hindi is great fun... But provided it comes naturally to you. Not like those people who put in so much effort to talk Hindi. The language itself is very beautiful... :-)
Yeah and I can speak Bihari dialect as well (Bhojpuri, maithli and vajjika) though not with the right accent.
Sigh! the many tongues that you have.
necessity when you have to be a local in different localities :-)
However, the many tongues dont help communicate what you you want to... yet to communicate what you have to, you dont even need a tongue.
ahhh now I dont know what I meant by that... I am just blabbering...
Bhojpuri, even I can do a bit. All after watching so many 'Movers and Shakers' episodes on TV with Shekhar Suman imitating Laloo !
LOL, your count beats mine though. That very nice ! "And thus I find yet another friend from the multilingual world"
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
Yeah Shekhar Suman does it well... there is some talent in the man afterall :-)... and there is some substance in Laloo too or he would'nt have been so popular....
oh that count means nothing... I dont know how good or bad I am at those languages if I were to speak in them for more than 15 mins ;-)
bhai wah....
yeh insaan itna kahsnik kyon hai
ya yeh kshanik hai isliye insaan hai....
Hello Puneet! Welcome here and thanks for your comment.
Yes u said it urself. Yeh kshanik hai isliye insaan hai... Aakhir is tez raftaar zindagi mein badlaav hi toh hai jo vastavik hai aur obvious bhi... sorry obvious ki hindi nahi aati :-)
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