Sometimes...
The throat constricts,
eyes widen,
fingers twitch,
a toe nudging on the other...
lips tremble, hesitant,
yet wanting an eager look
of the flushed face, burning hot.
A pressure on the heart,
Sinking it...
...gasping for breath...
the words die on the lips.
Sometimes...
Eyes pour,
wash out everything,
a complete sweep.
Words blurt out in plosives,
explode between the sobs...
and then a numbing silence,
a tipsy weightlessness
morphing into peaceful slumber.
:-)
46 comments:
wonderful imagery...simply visual...loved the poem ...
The most wonderful part has to be the Silence and peace after the blurting Words and the Snobs....
bahot sahi
lovely poem here...jus envisages d war between intense emotional outbursts.... u knw agitated fury n then its subsequent pacification..:)
sleep that beautiful enchantress...ah she has eluded me for long, hey I'd love to see, Nothingman ki kahaniyan in your link list ;)
I'm gonna link ya, will come back again :)
Nice poem, keep writing :)
N
WOW!!
loved it!! esp the second para!! :)
peace & love
JeeVY
@phoenix: :-) Thanks phoenix and welcome here.
@standbymind: Silence and peace are always the best. and was that snob a typo or you implying something there?
@anonymous: Sushant sahab shukriya... ab anonymous ka roop leliya... kyun bhai... Sushant rehne do naa...
@lavendar: yes dear... It is like describing two ways of reaction when you are upset. One where you are so upset ad wish to cry, but you cannot... even tears fail you. You remain restless with your suppressed grief. And the second where you get to experience an outburst and the grief is vent out through tears and you go to sleep being spent out completely. There your heart is lightened. :-)
@Nothingman: Oh yes she is an enchantress, and when she does decide to enchant you, no other powers really play on your mind.
Did you say she eluded you? Have you displeased her by falling in love? she cannot bear with competition you see. ;-)
You are linked. :-)
Thanks for visiting. :-)
@rajeev: Thank you sir ji. Second para is real action. :-)
Cheers!
Meenakshi
a tipsy weightlessness
morphing into peaceful slumber.
WOW!!that has to be the best part!! i simply loved it!
sometimes its like, you want to get it out,but u cant, and at other times,it comes out unknowingly! :)!
Nice lines Minakshi :)!!
Takecare
beautiful...
Shammu: Thank you... and egjactly! ;-)
mathangi: thanks and welcome here. :-)
Others have mentioned it already but I just luuurved the second paragraph. Lucidity at its best :)
But kuch to hasi kushi wala likho...Yeah kya rona dhona laga rakha hai :p
It starts well, buids up a delightful crescendo, and then ends with a soft sigh. I love it.
@Vibhanshu: :-))) thank you.
arre kitne khushi khushi waale likhe neeche? isse zyada khushi bardhasht nahi hogi. Aur khushi ki khushi manaane ke liye gham ka ehsaas zaroori hai... aaah! my philosophies... I know you hate them :p
@aakash!!!: :-) Thank you. Bade dino baad nazar aaye... :-)
superb.
nicely put!
sharad
ahan...
fandooooooooo
@sharad and Puneet: Thank you gentlemen :-)
waise Puneet fandooooooo hahahaha. Reminds me of my elder sis. She used this word very often. :-)
Were the tears those of guilt
Or of liberation?
@Jim: swap! I just commented on your blog and came back to find your comment here. :-)
The pain of liberation, if such a feeling exists. :-)
superb contrasting imageries
A wave of words came before my eyes. I wonder if I read it or actually went with tide. Each word had countless emotions and at the end I just felt as if I was certainly on some big ride which jus ended suddenly....
thats you !! whose writtings literally takes her readers away to a world which is so natural / practical and is all around us but still we never can pour it out the way you do ! Hats Off !
H'm...
Wish that happens with me again... :D
@blue ink: Thanks for visiting. and I am glad you liked it. :-)
@Aks: Hey buddy, thanks a lot. You are very generous with your appreciation and I am glad you could feel the emotions behind the word. As I repeat what somebody said... It takes two to appreciate poetry. :-)
@kazarelth: Again, meaning it happened recently? how? why? what?
Well, i havent been blogging much lately, and that is the reason.
Lovely words...
@aakash!!!: yeah I know... You have been quite busy... I could see that online :-)
Good. Hard work gives you a satisfaction like nothing else. :-)
@shruti: Thanks Shruti. :-)
Kya baat hain wow well versed perfect and thanx for ur comment it helps
@protege: thank you. :-)
hello minakshi madam! :D
where have u disappeared!??
peace & love
JeeVY
@rajeev: hello sirji...
Hum hain wahi... hum the jahaan... apne yahin teeno jahan... iske siva jaana kahan... ;-)
lol!!!
ur simply amazing!!!
How can u think of scuh wonderful lines so fast!? :>
Damn! I wish i too was good at it!
really explicit....the silent carving of words on emotions is what u've done no.....really hats off....bye n take care
Jeevy: Hey you know those are not my lines right? Those are the legendary Raj Kapoor's lines... ;-)
And one thing that I am definitely not is... "Spontaneous". How I wish.... hmmmmmm [sigh] :-)
this girl is Ashhh... righ buddy?
:-) thanks :-)
Cheers!
Meenakshi
Knock!Knock!
:)! hope everythings fine there!TC
that was mindfuckinglee brilliant...
beautiful images sculpted with words
:)
thanks for stopping by mah blog.. will visit often now
@Shammu: Who is that?
Oh Shammu. :-)
Yeah everything is fine here. Why?
I can't think and I can't write... besides that everything is fine. :-)
@Shamash: Thanks for visiting Shamash. :-) Look forward to your visits.
yeah ;)
i know how its "of not being able to think and of not being able to write" :D! i hve been fightin it too..... :)!
Words blurt out in plosives,
explode between the sobs.
the best part of the poem..amazzingly brilliant..short and EXPLOSIVE to say the least..
will sure visit often..
@shammu: :-) just the same... writers call it Writer's block... I call it stagnation. :-)
@irresistable desires: Thanks Miraj for visiting and I am glad you liked it, critique is always welcome (good or bad) :-)
Cheers!
Meenakshi
thanx for the tip!!! ;)
check it out now and temme hows it!?
peace & love
JeeVY
thanks :D
peace & love
JeeVY
wow ! comments have saturated so far.
awesome work.
you can coment on ma blog too, whatever.
and keep rolling.
If a hesitant latecomer may gather the courage . . . here's my hearty congrats for one of your most perceptive creations, Meenakshi.
...numbing silence... after the explosive outbursts. Analysis-cum-sensitive. I rather liked it.
Now, my sincere apologies for the long absences. I wouldn't blame you for giving up on me finally.
a perfect raw picture of emotional outburst... some bottle it in and some let it out.. beautiful....
@rajeev: you are always welcome.
:-)
@indr's angels: Thank you. Shall definitely do so... :-)
@aruni: hahahahaha... hesitant latecomer... welcome back. Its always a pleasure to see you. And thanks for lending ur receptive ears. :-) Thanks aruni.
arre nahi re I didnt give up on you. I am a hopelessly positive person. I have been visiting your blog... but didnt knock too often. ;-)
SS: Wow! what a coincidence... I just visited your blog this afternoon and read your lovely poems. They were so beautiful that I lacked words in their honour and thus I came back hoping to return with a more articulate tongue... which I shall soon.
Glad to see you here. :-)
Cheers to all!
Meenakshi
U have been tagged!!
Visit my blog to know more!!
peace & love
JeeVY
where r u these days
Post a Comment